Buddy Lembeck Chews His Food, Buddy Gives Merkel the Magic Touch, Bush Protects Whoville, What do I do with all this ice?, The Human Chimera Legislation (I wasn't kidding, it's real.)  

Corrections:  Atleast twice, I say the word "mindview".  I don't know what the fuck that means.  I assume I was combining "mindset" and "world view".  I'm an idiot. 

Sloppy Angry Extreme Rant Edition!  Topics:  Mailbag, Bush's Buttermilk Biscuit, Chirac's Happy Ending, Senator Brownback Hears A Who, Faith-Based Mockery, The Children Aren't Our Future

Real Change Project

Utah doesn't like good movies.

Watch too much Fox News, this is what'll happen to you...

Dr. Crazy-Talk

Yikes, Evangelicals can be spooky.

Well, they've already got the combat boots...

and the haircut.

Remo Williams:  The Adventure Begins!!!

Topics: Freaky-ass, Juggling Hobos, Kill Bill for Kids!, The Neo-Nazi, Ditto-Head, or Rapture-Right Game, Faith-Based Mockery, Remo Williams needs a sequel!

Mouse Potato?  Himbo?  Google?

Those are some pretty junkyard new word entries for this year's Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary.  Let's come up with some new one's for next year's edition.

The answers will be read on next week's show!

Judge's Pump - the PG version

Judge's Pump - the R version

I'm still surprised the word 'douche bag' is in the dictionary.

Why I hate televangelism/mega-churches.

The Real Change Project

Tucker Carlson:  I wonder what he thinks of Aquaman?

Corrections:  At the beginning of the show, I say "other news programs", seeming to imply that I think The Unimpressed Corps is a news program.  I'm not that much of an idiot -- slip of the tongue.

The Real Change Project is not a company.  It's a non-profit organization.

Batman Begins is in the upper-tier of comic book films, not Batman Returns.  Another screw-up.

Please let me know of any others -- I'm sure there are many, many more. 

 

Topics:  Weekly Inquisition, Judge Ties Fishing Lures While Presiding Over Trial, Mouse Potato?, 72 Feet of Holy Kitsch, The Real Change Project, Tucker Carlson: 'Expert' on Gay Superheroes, Faith-Based Mockery

Idle hands are the devil's playground.

Further proof that some people are born evil.  Like Jeffrey Dahmer.  Or Victor Von Doom.  Or Brendan Fraser.  (Alright, maybe not Victor Von Doom.)

My favorite part of this article:

A psychiatrist has diagnosed Buckalew with mental health issues.

Oh, yeah... ya' think?  Just maybe?  (I cannot believe people get paid to make these 'studied diagnoses.')

Listen, Doc... Winona Ryder's got mental health issues.  She sleeps with any 2-bit one-hit grunge-rocker and shoplifts.  (I'd still marry her.)

This kid is straight-up diabolical and should have a tracking chip in his head for the rest of his life, like Ahnuld in Total Recall.  Or Keanu in The Matrix.  Um... I guess Keanu's was in his stomach.  Whatever. 

Is this the only NBA player in the history of the league that can't get laid?

(Besides A.C. Green that is.)

Um... I just got nothin' to add to this.  It kinda' speaks for itself.  Yeesh.

But it does give me an opportunity to post a pic of Phoebe Cates in a bikini so... Mission Accomplished.

 

Death to the Cheney/Darth Vader comparison!  Come up w/ some new ones!!!  Movie, TV, Literature, Comic Books... whatever works for you!

Everlasting Erection

Stephen Hawking:  Ladies Man

Bono's 5th? The Economist, 6/8/06.  (Sorry, article for subscribers only.)

"The Dark Side"

Save the Internet!

Senator Ted explains 'the internets'

Topics:  Embarrassing Albums, Everlasting Erection, Stephen Hawking:  Ladies Man, Bono's 5th?, Darth vs. Dick, Net Neutrality, Ted Stevens explains 'the internets'.

I was spurred to buy Pearl Jam's latest album, cleverly entitled 'Pearl Jam', after seeing the video for the track 'Life Wasted' on MTV.

This video -- might be the best one I've seen since Radiohead's 'There There'.  Directed by Fernando Apodaca, the video uses no digital effects and took 6 months to make.  I think the time was worth it -- it is incredible.  You can see it on YouTube here:

Life Wasted

I'm not even sure what's happening in this video, all I know is it's creepy, and evil, and visually unsettling, and you just can't stop watching it.

The album is what you've come to expect from Pearl Jam... maybe I'm just in a rock kind of mood, but I'm really enjoying it.  Might be the best album for them since Vs. -- future spins will see if it has lasting power in my musical rotation.

I also admire the band's willingness to take a stand for something, politically.  There seem to be few artists out there willing to take that chance, to possibly alienate a segment of the population that could cost them a few album sales.  Is Green Day and The Dixie Chicks all we've got?  (And although I'm not a fan of his music, Kanye West's best performance was telling the truth during that Katrina telethon.)

Aren't we at a point where the endless whining of emo-rockers, still lamenting that cute redhead who rejected them in High School, seems a bit trivial?

I was wrong!

The Oklahoma Full Auto Shoot and Trade Show!

Gun porn.

Keith Olbermann ran a story of this event on the June 29th episode of Countdown, and I was mesmerized -- a truly awe inspiring event.  Gun enthusiasts come from all over, hauling their own personal military arsenal, to let loose 1000's of rounds on an outside firing range, blowing shit up.  They even have organized competitions, such as "Sniper Match" and "Kill the Car".

If you don't happen to possess your own Heckler & Koch MP5 sub-machine gun (what's wrong with you?) don't worry -- there are gun rental companies on the premises to fulfill all your G.I. Joe fantasies.

And the kids are welcome, too!  Check the 8-year-old girl in the video, firing that enormous mounted machine gun.  Isn't she precious? 

I was raised in a liberal family in Alaska -- no guns in our house.  I was always jealous of my friends air rifles, and their .22's.  But I still grew up watching G.I. Joe (Zartan is badass), and Rambo, and remember the endless games of Army in the summer, firing toy rifles at my friends.

Despite my lefty-stance on most issues, I've always been against gun control.  I believe there should be strict gun licensing laws, and a lengthy application process to purchase firearms, but if you're a law-abiding, tax-paying American, it's your right to own an automatic weapon if you choose.

But don't give me this bullshit that you need your AK-47 to protect your family -- I think a handgun or shotgun would fit that bill just fine.  Just tell me the truth -- you dig big guns.  I can understand that, guns are cool!  And machine guns are even cooler.  So if it's your hobby to head to the firing range, or you want to blow up some tree stumps on your property, knock yourself out.