Happy Thanksgiving! Topics: The Military Magic Kingdom, Swiss Family 'Holly' Robinson, 'I can't believe I used to think Patricia Heaton was kinda' cute.', Faith-Based Mockery: Ted Haggard contemporary

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Unimpressed Corps Cinema Caucus: 'Shut Up and Sing'

Yea Nay

Liu Liu needs some X-rated encouragement, Long Live Lap Dances!, Ehrlich exploits the poor, confuses African American voters, Tuskegee Airmen.

WEEKLY INQUISITION:  What's the earliest date a business establishment should put up X-mas decorations, play X-mas music?

UNIMPRESSED CORPS CINEMA CAUCUS: Shut up and Sing!

Weekly Inquisition: Now that the Democrats have control of the House and Senate, what should their first course of action be?

Leave your return fire in the comments section, or on the PPN Board!

Go ahead, indulge yourself at the Republican's expense, Rolling Stone Articles: 'Worst Congress Ever', 'The 10 Worst Congressmen', 'Ohio Burning', Shut Up and Sing. 

 

I watched Borat this weekend -- did you?  What did you think?  I'll have my review on Tuesday's episode of The Unimpressed Corps, and I'd love to incorporate your thoughts into the discussion.

Leave your comments, or head over to the PPN Message Board!

Was the RNC attack ad against Harold Ford Jr. racist?
	Yes
	No
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Haven't seen the Harold Ford Jr. attack ad? Watch it here, and leave your comments on the PPN Message Board!

Corporations stiff-arm Air America, Limbaugh goes after Marty McFly, Matt's podcast webpage.

2005 Federal Trade Commission - Report on Dynamic Gas Prices, Fortune Article "Why Gas Prices Dropped", Say WA???, Blackouts Over Baghdad, NY Times Article "Republican Woes Lead to Feuding by Conservatives",  Who needs ideas when you control the message?

Thoughts about the show?  Drop me a comment!

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What is the cause of the lower gas prices?

Supply and demand. Decreased threat of war with Iran. Saudi government giving Bush a favor. Goldman Sachs dumping gasoline futures. Bush dipping into Strategic Petroleum Reserve. Oil companies lowering prices to help Republicans. Other.

Trekkie buys the Enterprise for $576K, begins clearing space in his 'apartment' in his parent's basement to keep the damn thing, Geek sells YouTube to Google for 1.65B, becomes instantly popular with the ladies, Oil Price Drop -- Conspiracy Theories?, Darcy Burner bio in The Stranger, Reichert v. Burner debate, Darcy Burner for Congress, ActBlue.com, Jesus Camp Trailer.

Head to www.unimpressedcorps.com to answer the Weekly Inquisition!  Topics: Geek buys Enterprise, sells YouTube, and prefers Picard, Is there a sinister plot behind the lower gas prices?, Reichert v. Burner, Movie Review: Jesus Camp, Lost Discussion.  Send me an e-mail at ryan@unimpressedcorps.com.

I'll be back next Monday.

Ryan

Sorry for the delay, folks!

Screechy Sanchez, I can't believe people fall for this shit, 0.17, The Party of Family Values?, Be warned: This is awful, Night of the Rocking Dead, Be Marc Maron's friend!

THE LITTLE SUPERSTAR!!!

The Mark Foley audio clip I played in episode 15 is from an episode of America's Most Wanted.  The second voice you hear is the host of America's Most Wanted, John Walsh.

The NC-17 Edition! Topics: Seahawks pummeled, Return Fire!, 'Why couldn't it have been Lark Voorhies in the sex video?', Prosperity Theology promises it's followers $$$... what's next, penis enlargement?, Mike '0.17' McGavick promises to search for leprechan's pot o' gold to pay off national defecit, Mark Foley is a sick, sick, man, Praise & Pan Entertainment Section: Rob Zombie and Marc Maron, THE LITTLE SUPERSTAR!!!

Batman addresses the United Nations, SAVEDARFUR.ORG, Rolling Stone article "The Unending Torture of Omar Khadr", Matt Lauer interviews President Buddy Lembeck, Fatty Hastert butchers the National Anthem, United 93, Left-Behind: Eternal Forces

WEEKLY INQUISITION:  What are your thoughts on celebrities/musicians/artists using their popularity to push a political agenda?

That was even worse than I expected.  Wow.  Again, I ask... how bad is his MSNBC program tanking if he's willing to subject himself to this horseshit?  It appears the madness will stop... he's already been eliminated.

Another thought that strikes me... who the fuck watches this shit?  Reality television was out of control five years ago and it's only... getting... worse.  If it weren't for Lost, there would be absolutely nothing to watch on network television.

Take a peek at the clip on crooksandliars.com -- I think it's summarized best by one of the comments on the site:

Eye poison.

Tucker's chair dance

Some of you may have wondered why I didn't mention the anniversary of 9/11 in the 12th episode.  It was a conscious decision.  I knew that I didn't want to discuss it -- but it wasn't until I read this editorial by Simon Jenkins of The Guardian that I truly understood why.  Jenkins summarizes my feelings on 9/11 perfectly, and I strongly encourage everyone to give it a read. 

The weekend's 9/11 horror-fest will do Osama bin Laden's work for him

Here's an excerpt:

The gruelling re-enactment of the London bombings in July and this weekend's 9/11 horror-fest are not news. They exploit grief and horror, and in doing so give gratuitous publicity to Bin Laden and al-Qaida. Those personally affected by these outrages may have their own private memorials. But to hallow the events with repetitious publicity turns a squalid crime into a constantly revitalised political act. It grants the jihadists what they most crave, warrior status. It more than validates terrorism as a weapon of war, it glorifies it.

The best way to commemorate 9/11 is with silence. Instead, Bin Laden must be laughing.

What's up, UC Nation!

In the tradition of Labor Day, the Unimpressed Corps is taking a break this week, and I'll be back next Monday with an all-new episode, the Retro Episode!

Uh... well, as retro as the show can be that's a little more than two months old.  Anyways, I'll be bringing back some favorites from the past, Faith-Based Mockery and the Weekly Inquisition, and more hilarity and other... um... stuff.

But for those of you who depend on me for the news, here's an item for you:  Steve Irwin, The Crocodile Hunter, is dead at 44 of a stingray barb through the chest.  I know, it's barely getting ANY media coverage, so it probably comes as a shock to you... but we'll make it through alright.

BTW, he died filming segments for a show called "The Ocean's Deadliest."  Yo Alanis, that is what we call IRONY -- in all caps.  Not, 10,000 spoons, when all you need is a knife.  Crikey.

Hope you all had a great 3-day weekend, so you in a few...

Ryan

Reutergate, I'd like to teach the world to sing... and kill some union chiefs, Dr. Cancer, 'True' Liberals: Surrender your I-Pods, Haley makes Corey Feldman's teen years look like the boyscouts, Hollywood Republicans United For B.S. Ad, Sometimes I feel like... George Dubya's watchin' me... and I got no privacy... whoa-oh-oh, TV Exec's love tha' missing white girls, MacGyver-errorists, Santorum: still a hypocritical douchebag (in case you were wondering.)

Sorry for the delay, folks.  (If it weren't for this 9 to 5 job, I could really get something done with my life.)

Sci-Fi Original Movie: Rats!, Hollywood's Rat Agenda, The Bloodiest Place On Earth, 'Get those mouse-jockeys in uniform!', Marijuana Regulation Initiative in Nevada, The $$$ we're spending for marijuana regulation, Tax Evasion, Corporate Fraud in New Orleans, Same Thang' In Iraq, Mmm... Steak Fries and refillable Cokes, FUBAR, Karen Hughes: It's all who ya' know, Marvel Comics: Civil War

Topics: Mailbag, I'm gunna' squirt dishsoap in Willard's eye, 10-Hut Magic Kingdom, The 4th Dimension, Nevada Ballot Initiate: Marijuana Regulation, Hemp Wallets, Tax Evasion, Corporate Fraud, Mmm... that is a tasty burger!, Book Review: FUBAR, America's Right-Wing Nightmare, Marvel's Civil War.

10-day hiatus for Bush from destroying the country, White House Book Club: Crazy-ass Apocalypse Authors, Phony YouTube Anti-Gore Clip, DCI Group Would Collect $$$ to Support 'People Who Take a Crap In a Public Toilet and Choose Not to Flush', 'Is it getting hotter in here?  Nope.  It's just natural variance.  Turn on the A/C.', Grindhouse Preview from Ain't It Cool News.

I didn't end up talking about it in Episode 8, but there was a preview for a movie called Renaissance that played before A Scanner Darkly -- three seconds into the preview, I turn to my friend Paul and say, "I'm in.  You had me at hello."  It looks amazing!  If you dug the visual look of Sin City, check out the Quicktime movie trailer here!

Topics: HBO (Help A Brutha' Out), Obligatory Mel Gibson Discussion, President Buddy Lembeck's Summer Vacation, Pat Robertson Makes My Brain Melt, YouTube Ruse, ExxonMobil mobilizes it's evil forces to dispute global warming, Movie Review: A Scanner Darkly, Movie Preview:  Grindhouse!!!

'We all knew this already, right?', Washington's Supreme Court chooses against progress, Pagan-Ganking, 34 Holidays a Year?  Can't beat that!, Horrors in Lebanon, It Gets Worse, KEXP Live Music Podcast

Topics: The Obligatory Discussion of Lance Bass, The Football Analogy Initiative, Ugly People Shouldn't Marry Either, 'By Odin's beard, let's drink us a Pyramid Summer Ale!', The Fundamentalist-Seeking Bomb (Trademark), R. Kelly vs. Angela Lansbury, Live Music Review!  Silversun Pickups, A Sweaty Stephen Baldwin, The Black Angels.

Buddy Lembeck Chews His Food, Buddy Gives Merkel the Magic Touch, Bush Protects Whoville, What do I do with all this ice?, The Human Chimera Legislation (I wasn't kidding, it's real.)  

Corrections:  Atleast twice, I say the word "mindview".  I don't know what the fuck that means.  I assume I was combining "mindset" and "world view".  I'm an idiot. 

Sloppy Angry Extreme Rant Edition!  Topics:  Mailbag, Bush's Buttermilk Biscuit, Chirac's Happy Ending, Senator Brownback Hears A Who, Faith-Based Mockery, The Children Aren't Our Future

Real Change Project

Utah doesn't like good movies.

Watch too much Fox News, this is what'll happen to you...

Dr. Crazy-Talk

Yikes, Evangelicals can be spooky.

Well, they've already got the combat boots...

and the haircut.

Remo Williams:  The Adventure Begins!!!

Topics: Freaky-ass, Juggling Hobos, Kill Bill for Kids!, The Neo-Nazi, Ditto-Head, or Rapture-Right Game, Faith-Based Mockery, Remo Williams needs a sequel!

Mouse Potato?  Himbo?  Google?

Those are some pretty junkyard new word entries for this year's Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary.  Let's come up with some new one's for next year's edition.

The answers will be read on next week's show!

Judge's Pump - the PG version

Judge's Pump - the R version

I'm still surprised the word 'douche bag' is in the dictionary.

Why I hate televangelism/mega-churches.

The Real Change Project

Tucker Carlson:  I wonder what he thinks of Aquaman?

Corrections:  At the beginning of the show, I say "other news programs", seeming to imply that I think The Unimpressed Corps is a news program.  I'm not that much of an idiot -- slip of the tongue.

The Real Change Project is not a company.  It's a non-profit organization.

Batman Begins is in the upper-tier of comic book films, not Batman Returns.  Another screw-up.

Please let me know of any others -- I'm sure there are many, many more. 

 

Topics:  Weekly Inquisition, Judge Ties Fishing Lures While Presiding Over Trial, Mouse Potato?, 72 Feet of Holy Kitsch, The Real Change Project, Tucker Carlson: 'Expert' on Gay Superheroes, Faith-Based Mockery

Idle hands are the devil's playground.

Further proof that some people are born evil.  Like Jeffrey Dahmer.  Or Victor Von Doom.  Or Brendan Fraser.  (Alright, maybe not Victor Von Doom.)

My favorite part of this article:

A psychiatrist has diagnosed Buckalew with mental health issues.

Oh, yeah... ya' think?  Just maybe?  (I cannot believe people get paid to make these 'studied diagnoses.')

Listen, Doc... Winona Ryder's got mental health issues.  She sleeps with any 2-bit one-hit grunge-rocker and shoplifts.  (I'd still marry her.)

This kid is straight-up diabolical and should have a tracking chip in his head for the rest of his life, like Ahnuld in Total Recall.  Or Keanu in The Matrix.  Um... I guess Keanu's was in his stomach.  Whatever. 

Is this the only NBA player in the history of the league that can't get laid?

(Besides A.C. Green that is.)

Um... I just got nothin' to add to this.  It kinda' speaks for itself.  Yeesh.

But it does give me an opportunity to post a pic of Phoebe Cates in a bikini so... Mission Accomplished.

 

Death to the Cheney/Darth Vader comparison!  Come up w/ some new ones!!!  Movie, TV, Literature, Comic Books... whatever works for you!

Everlasting Erection

Stephen Hawking:  Ladies Man

Bono's 5th? The Economist, 6/8/06.  (Sorry, article for subscribers only.)

"The Dark Side"

Save the Internet!

Senator Ted explains 'the internets'

Topics:  Embarrassing Albums, Everlasting Erection, Stephen Hawking:  Ladies Man, Bono's 5th?, Darth vs. Dick, Net Neutrality, Ted Stevens explains 'the internets'.

I was spurred to buy Pearl Jam's latest album, cleverly entitled 'Pearl Jam', after seeing the video for the track 'Life Wasted' on MTV.

This video -- might be the best one I've seen since Radiohead's 'There There'.  Directed by Fernando Apodaca, the video uses no digital effects and took 6 months to make.  I think the time was worth it -- it is incredible.  You can see it on YouTube here:

Life Wasted

I'm not even sure what's happening in this video, all I know is it's creepy, and evil, and visually unsettling, and you just can't stop watching it.

The album is what you've come to expect from Pearl Jam... maybe I'm just in a rock kind of mood, but I'm really enjoying it.  Might be the best album for them since Vs. -- future spins will see if it has lasting power in my musical rotation.

I also admire the band's willingness to take a stand for something, politically.  There seem to be few artists out there willing to take that chance, to possibly alienate a segment of the population that could cost them a few album sales.  Is Green Day and The Dixie Chicks all we've got?  (And although I'm not a fan of his music, Kanye West's best performance was telling the truth during that Katrina telethon.)

Aren't we at a point where the endless whining of emo-rockers, still lamenting that cute redhead who rejected them in High School, seems a bit trivial?

I was wrong!

The Oklahoma Full Auto Shoot and Trade Show!

Gun porn.

Keith Olbermann ran a story of this event on the June 29th episode of Countdown, and I was mesmerized -- a truly awe inspiring event.  Gun enthusiasts come from all over, hauling their own personal military arsenal, to let loose 1000's of rounds on an outside firing range, blowing shit up.  They even have organized competitions, such as "Sniper Match" and "Kill the Car".

If you don't happen to possess your own Heckler & Koch MP5 sub-machine gun (what's wrong with you?) don't worry -- there are gun rental companies on the premises to fulfill all your G.I. Joe fantasies.

And the kids are welcome, too!  Check the 8-year-old girl in the video, firing that enormous mounted machine gun.  Isn't she precious? 

I was raised in a liberal family in Alaska -- no guns in our house.  I was always jealous of my friends air rifles, and their .22's.  But I still grew up watching G.I. Joe (Zartan is badass), and Rambo, and remember the endless games of Army in the summer, firing toy rifles at my friends.

Despite my lefty-stance on most issues, I've always been against gun control.  I believe there should be strict gun licensing laws, and a lengthy application process to purchase firearms, but if you're a law-abiding, tax-paying American, it's your right to own an automatic weapon if you choose.

But don't give me this bullshit that you need your AK-47 to protect your family -- I think a handgun or shotgun would fit that bill just fine.  Just tell me the truth -- you dig big guns.  I can understand that, guns are cool!  And machine guns are even cooler.  So if it's your hobby to head to the firing range, or you want to blow up some tree stumps on your property, knock yourself out.

What's the most embarrassing album in your music collection?

Topics: Fitty Cent, Aniston Sucks, Embarrassing Albums, "Blood is Thicker than Blackwater", Faith-Based Mockery.

Topics: Rolling Stone article, "Was the 2004 election stolen?", Faith-Based Mockery, Price is Right strategy, the worst Family Feud contestant... ever.